I can’t help but think that there was some careful planning by the powers that create these things when someone decided to put National Women’s Health Week smack in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Month. What better way to drive home the importance of emotional health to a group of fabulous people who often put themselves last (I’m talking about women!).

In looking for some interesting tips and ideas to share with you all this week, I came across a great list by Carin Goldstein on YourTango.com and rather than reinvent the wheel, today I just want to share her excellent list of 10 things that every woman could use to live a happier and healthier life!

I’ve excerpted (out of order) my top 3 favorites below but please click the link at the bottom to read the full list; it’s definitely 10 musts for any modern woman wanting to live a happy and well-balanced life!

“… it’s easy for any woman to lose sight of her own authentic path and her most — what she requires to lead a satisfying and balanced life. In honor of National Woman’s Health Month, here is a list of what every woman needs to live a happy and well-balanced life:

3. Exercise. Here’s the deal: exercise (i.e. elevating your heart rate and breaking a sweat) is Miracle Grow for the brain. Regular, aerobic exercise remodels our brains for peak performance by decreasing stress, lifting your mood, and sharpening your intellect. Overall, it simply helps you function better as a person.

7. Physical Touch. I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about a hug, a caring squeeze of the arm, a holding of the hand. We are born with the need to be touched. If a baby or child is not held or cuddled enough, he or she will not thrive. A warm, safe touch releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) as well as reduces levels of the stress hormone, cortisol . In effect, the body interprets a supportive touch as someone saying “I am here for you.”

8. Community. There’s a reason for the old saying, “It takes a village.” Like children, we all need a village or in other words a community, which helps us to feel a part of; a sense of belonging. We are all social animals, hence our value of self is strengthened by the support of a team, a tribe, a village, a group, etc. Being a part of a community via shared interests (i.e. work, church, synagogue, sports, a club, etc.) is what brings the most meaning to our lives. {a note from GTA: don’t feel like you have your village? our upcoming women’s group might be perfect for you; email us at therapy[at]grouptherapyassociates.org for more details}

10. An Observing Ego. This means taking the time to understand and observe you. It amazes me the amount of people I see walking around completely disconnected from themselves emotionally, physically and mentally. Without a connection to you, living your life in a satisfying way is impossible. How can you learn what your growing needs are without truly understanding you? How can you learn to trust your instincts and make decisions without reflecting on what drives your behaviors? Learning to comfortably observe your own steps in the world is one of the most invaluable gifts you can give yourself and there is no better time than now.”

Read the full article on Your Tango

I’m on my way over to Sport and Health in Gainesville to host our workshop on Play and Fitness… such a fun topic!  Playing is so often treating as something frivolous or a treat to be ‘allowed’ after you have worked hard.  But play is crucial to the development of our children and our own emotional and physical well-being.  I hope to see many of you at the workshop today but in case you can’t make it  I wanted to share a great video (side note: I love TED Talks- what an awesome resource!) of Stuart Brown of the Institute for Play talking about the real importance of play.  It’s totally worth the 20 minutes of your time… and when you’re done get out there and play this weekend!

Some Key Thoughts on Play:

• Humans are designed to play for a lifetime- play is NOT just for kids
• The opposite of play is not work, it’s usually depression.
• Play lights up the brain- it builds neural pathways that help us with everything from emotional regulation to learning to physical coordination and problem solving.
• Play is a natural way to bring more mindfulness into your life- it’s one of a few activities that encourages us to focus on the moment.

A little history on origins of  Mental Health Awareness Month…

Mental Health Month is an annual event in May started by Mental Health America in 1949.  Mental Health America is a non-profit organization dedicated to mental health education and advocacy.  Their initiative each year in May is part of an overall campaign to elminate the stigma historically associated with mental health and increase role of  mental health  and emotional well-being when we talk about wellness and health.  This year, they are addressing these important issues through two themes:

Do More for 1 in 4 is a call to action to help the 1 in 4 American adults who live with a diagnosable, treatable mental health condition and help those folks realize that they can live full and productive lives with the support and understanding of many. For more information, download the Do More For 1in4 Toolkit.

The second theme, Healing Trauma’s Invisible Wounds, focuses on the impact of traumatic events on individuals, their families, and our communities.  We talk often on this blog and in our office about diverse issues that create trauma in the lives of so many.  Download the Healing Trauma’s Invisible Wounds Toolkit and find out more about the lingering effects that trauma can cause and the many effective ways to go from surviving trauma to thriving in life.

And here’s where we fit in…

This  month GTA will be partnering with many worthy organizations to offer free resources focused on highlighting the role mental health plays in helping you find your happiest, healthiest life!  We kicked things off with the 2012 DC Fit Week Total Fitness Symposium on May 1 in Cleveland Park.  It was a wonderful open discussion with experts in all areas of wellness from finance to fitness to family and we were honored to be part of it.  We hope to have some video clips to share very soon.

Later this month we will be hosting several workshops at the Sport and Health Club in Gainesville focused on integrating mental health and physical health.  We love talking about the mind/body connection and helping people create and commit to healthy changes in their life.  We are going to talk about stress management, finding your motivation, and making healthy habits a part of your family’s everyday life.  Stay tuned for more details and a chance to sign up.

And of course there will be blog posts from our therapists on the simple, yet effective ways in which you can bring a little more attention to your mental health and the powerful impact that can have.

We are so excited to share our new Pinterest boards with all you social media lovers out there.  At first we weren’t so sure how a visual pin board would work for a therapy practice but it turns out there is amazing visual inspiration out there for everything from healthy living to dating and marriage to parenting and even mental health resources.  We hope you will take a look at our boards and share your favorite images with us too.

Tell us what you think… is Pinterest just another fad in the social media craze or is there something unique about this site?  Although our work is built on the power of words it seems that sometimes a picture can really convey emotions and inspire change for which there are no words.

We are just three weeks away from the second annual DC Fit Week- a week of free activities and events dedicated to inspiring everyone in the DC metro area to increase their fitness levels.  One of the reasons we love DC Fit Week is their dedication to a holistic view of fitness; they share our philosophy that truly fit lifestyle includes healthy bodies, minds and relationships.  That’s why we are so excited to be one of the many sponsors this year who will be promoting wellness April 30- May 5.  We hope that you will check out their website (and ours) for more details on upcoming events and resources and invite you to come here our own Esther Boykin and Llouana Harper at a panel discussion on May 1 {more details coming soon}.

Don’t think you have to wait for Fit Week to officially kick off… go ahead and start incorporating some new healthy habits today!

So often, people ask me for simple techniques that can have large impacts on reducing stress in their day-to-day routines. People are usually surprised when I reply by asking, “When was the last time you focused your attention on your breathing deeply?” You may be thinking, “Breathing, really?” In today’s busy, fast-paced world, people often run on auto-pilot and forget to breathe deeply, which affects them physically, mentally and emotionally. Focusing our attention on our breath helps us to slow down and be present with our experience in the moment, rather than thinking about things in the past or our future.

I invite you to take a couple of minutes with me right now to nurture yourself by slowing down and breathing with me. Here’s what to do:

1. Breathe in through your nose and count up to five.
2. Next, hold your breath for five seconds.
3. Then, breathe out for five counts.
4. Hold your breath for another five seconds.
5. Repeat this five times.

If breathing in, holding, breathing out, and holding to the count of five is too difficult, start with three seconds and work your way up to five. This is great way to start and end your day. You can also practice this breathing technique when you are standing in long lines at the supermarket, stuck in traffic or while watching television. It’s such a simple thing and yet I’ve found it to be a wonderful break to the stress in my day.

I’d love to hear from you and your experiences with this breathing technique so please leave your comments below… and don’t forget to breathe.

Earlier this week I went to the funeral for a friend’s sister.  She was a young woman and her passing was very unexpected.  Needless to say that it has been a difficult time for this family and we all have been trying to find ways to support and share our condolences with them.  I have to admit that funerals are hard for me.  Being a therapist I often put an unreasonable amount of pressure on myself to say the “right” thing and do the “right” thing to make people feel better.  It’s maddening and silly because the truth about grief and loss is that there is no”right” thing.  There are compassionate things and sensible things and sometimes foot-in-the-mouth insensitive things to be said but contrary to popular belief there really isn’t a right thing.   There is no magic script or amazing therapeutic trick to help someone through the process of losing a loved one.  Or maybe there is… maybe the magical and powerful answer to supporting someone you care about through bereavement is to simply be present.

I am not talking about just physically showing up on their doorstep (although that helps too) I am talking about finding a way through your own sorrow and discomfort so that you can be emotionally available to another.  As I sat in the church a few mornings ago I had an a-ha moment that I’ve had many times before – sometimes the cure for our pain is just the presence of other people willing to be there with us through the process.  When I have on my therapist hat I know this intrinsically.  I know that despite the countless hours of training and continuing education and the wonderful techniques and research that I bring to my work, often the most powerful thing I can do is to simply acknowledge my clients’ suffering and be willing to stay present and fully engaged as they find their way through the pain.   So the obvious question is why in my personal life do I so often forget this?  The answer is simple- because as human beings we often avoid what is hard and painful.  And more personally, many of us want to fix what’s painful.  But there is no solution to death except learning to endure loss.

To truly be present we must first feel our own grief and helplessness for the situation at hand and sometimes that’s where we get stuck.  In the article Feeling grief means being alive, Elisha Goldstein talks about how we all put up blocks to feeling our sadness and helplessness.  But these feelings are as much a part of a fulfilling life as joy and pleasure.  Life means that we experience a full range of emotions and experiences and when we are able to face those things that make us uncomfortable we are then able to fully support and love those around us… and in the process we open ourselves up to be loved and supported back.  You may not find the “right” words to say but when we are willing to embrace the pain of loss and sorrow, simply being present suddenly becomes the only right thing to do.

Tell us, have you experienced a loss recently or know someone who has?  What helped you to cope?  What do you wish someone would do for you?

More articles on grief and bereavement

Feeling Grief Means Being Alive 

Grief and Loss: The topic of death ignored

Today we wanted to share a little clip from Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers on using our instincts to find love.  Check out the video below to learn how your sense of smell can help you sniff out Mr. {or Mrs.} Right and some important tips on when following your instincts may not be in your best interest.

Keeping with our 2012 resolution to bring in something fresh each month, this February we are challenging you to learn a new language- a love language that is. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner it seems only fitting that our monthly dose of freshness would be focused on love. I have been racking my brain over the last week to come up with something new we can offer you, and today as I spent some time focused on my personal goal for the month- learning conversational Spanish- it hit me. Love Languages!

And how lucky are we… Gary Chapman and his team over at the 5 Love Languages website is hosting their first ever Love Languages Challenge, complete with iPhone and Android apps and prizes! To help you learn more about the Five Love Languages we will be sharing their love language quiz widget on our homepage for the whole month and encourage everyone {including parents, teens and singles} to learn more about the love language concept. This is not limited to romantic relationships~ every important relationship in life is spoken in these 5 love languages.

Take the assessment over at the 5 Love Languages website and find out your primary language. Then ask your partner, children, friends, and even co-workers to take it too and share their love language with you. So often in couples and with family and friends we are all saying the same things- “I love you”, “I care about you”,”you are important to me”- but we use different ‘languages‘ to do it and so conflict arises, needs go unmet, and life is harder than it has to be. Just as I am working to learn a little more Spanish in order to communicate more effectively and ultimately enjoy my time in Spain even more; I hope that this month you all will work at learning a new language of your own to help bring more joy and fulfillment to the relationships in your life!