Welcome to Week 5 of the Sexy Couples Challenge

As I promised yesterday, here’s 5 tips for the ladies to turn up the heat and make the men in your lives feel as sexy as you think they are.

Of course men and women aren’t so different when it comes to feeling special or needing attention.  This list can easily be used by men just as the ladies can find some great tips in yesterdays post; so be sure to read both.

don’t let stress zap your sex life

Show him that he’s needed.  As outdated and antiquated as it may sound, men need to feel needed.  In spite of how far we have come in terms of gender equality, most of us have still grown up with the unconscious messages about what “real” man should be like in his relationship.  So even if you can change your own oil and beat him at Scrabble every time, find a place where you can allow your man’s strengths to shine.  Making a point to acknowledge how special and important he is in your life is sure to give him a boost of confidence that you’ll notice in his swagger- in and out of the bedroom.

Self Care is Sexy- and men are visual.  Remember when we said in Week 3 that it’s important to make time to take care of yourself, well here is another reason for that.   Taking a little extra time to put on a favorite perfume of his and change out of the same sweatsuit you’ve worn for 3 days is not only good for your mood but reminds your partner just how hot and sexy you can be.  Men tend to be much more visually-oriented than women so give him something sexy to look at and notice how more attention you get when it’s time to snuggle up.

Sleep nude.  I know that the goal is a non-sexual list of tips and although this is a pretty suggestive move the motives aren’t about actually initiating sex.  There is quite a bit of research on attachment to show that skin to skin contact is not just the start of a night of passion but actually fosters deep emotional bonding.  If you or someone you know has had a baby recently then you know all about the power of skin to skin touch- if it’s powerful enough to strengthen the connection between babies and parents, just imagine what it can do for your relationship.  Sex is more than a physical act it is an expression of your emotional intimacy and sleeping in the nude will up the intimacy whether you have sex or not.

Pamper him.  While many of the women I talk to don’t think their man has any problem making time for self-care in the form of golf outings, football games, and boys nights- rarely do men make a point to truly pamper themselves.  While all those activities can be great de-stressors they are also tied to the very active and physical part of who he is.  The softer, more sensual side of most men is reserved for a few private moments with the person they love.  But that softer side is just as important as any other aspect of who they are and you are the perfect person to remind them of that.  Draw a bath or give him a massage and encourage your honey to indulge in some quiet relaxation.  Stress is not only hard on your guy emotionally but it can also negatively impact his sex drive… all the more reason to help him make time to manage his stress more effectively.

Take charge of romance.  So often we focus on helping men improve their romance skills- we have books and articles and friends and family telling guys they need to buy flowers, take you to dinner, and show you a good time.  But the truth is that everyone loves a little romance!  Plan a romantic date for the two of you that’s focused on what he likes.  Trading places and giving your love a chance to sit back and just enjoy having someone else take the initiative is not only a chance to make him feel special but also a opportunity to add a little spice in your sex life.  It’s easy to let the romantic aspects of your relationship, including sex, become routine and “his job”.  But you can really turn up the heat and find out a little more about your man when you take charge and show him a good time.  It’s a perfect way to encourage him to do this week’s challenge… you can use his answers to plan a special day or night of passion and romance!