I have to confess to all of you that I am a bit of a Christmas tree snob. I am very particular about the size and shape and even the smell.. it all has to be just right to find the perfect tree. Of course, even I know that there is no “perfect” tree; they are like every other living thing, always slightly imperfect. But when we finally pick the tree that is just right for our family we bring it home and then the magic really happens. I rearrange my living room furniture, take out my “winter” pillows, and the tree skirt. I sweep up and prepare to share our space with this lovely new addition. I even take out my favorite holiday music and get the stereo on to help get us all in the right mood. Not only do I get ornaments and lights to make the tree look special, but we decorate the house so that when it’s all done, all these lovely details transform my ordinary home and this ordinary tree into something incredibly special.
So why am I telling you about my Christmas tree preparations? Because it is a perfect example of how preparation and details can elevate even the most mundane things into something magical. And this is how it is with our relationships too. Think back to the beginning of your relationship… you probably spent hours prepping for your dates together. Trips to the barber shop and hair dresser, new outfits, maybe even a little extra time at the gym were all a part of the equation. Because dating seems special- like a holiday. It’s a time to take extra special care of yourself in order to present your best self to your date.
But all of this preparation for a date does more than make you look good; it makes your date feel special and in the process it turns whatever activity you do into a romantic adventure. There is nothing inherently special about going to a movie, cooking a meal, sharing a game of mini golf. These things become dates because of the time we put into the planning the details. Just as my tree is nothing more than an average Fraser Fir until I create a special place for it in my home, your partner is just a regular person waiting to feel special because of the effort you put into spending time with them.
Often self care is seen as selfish but the truth is that when we make time to present our best self it sends a message that the person we are with is important to us.
So today I want you to tell me what is one thing that you do {or used to do} to get ready for a date that you think made your partner feel special. Remember sometimes the thing that makes our partner feel special is just having a confident person on their arm so the one thing you did may not be something they every noticed or knew about; it might be something that made you feel sexy and confident to be out with them. Whatever it is… tell us all about!
5 comments
I send my husband yahoo Messages throughout the day, as well as texts letting him know how much I love him and appreciate his hard work! I also let him know that I am excited to have him home and anticipating watching a movie together, hanging out, and making love!
Once I bought a very nice outfit to wear on our special date, one that I would only wear for my husband and with my husband. I must admit we both noticed other men checking me out! That actually made my husband feel lucky that I was on his arm and gave him a sense of pride. I think it turned out be a gentle reminder not to take me for granted also!
When we first started dating my boyfriend and I would make efforts to do something new on our dates. We’d plan on doing things that were new to one or both of us. The details didn’t have to be extravagant, it could be something as simple as trying a new type of food, going for a drive on a new route or road together with no destination in mind or visiting a new city for a night in a fun sporty rental car. I love the way it allowed us to experience situations together and learn about each other as we did them.
Brittany- I love that you guys use technology to stay connected. so many couples use it as an escape but I believe, like you guys, that it can be a quick and easy way to let each other know that you are already anticipating your time together and the fun you are going to have!
Laura that’s awesome! one of the things I make all the couples i work with for premarital counseling do is go on 5 different dates that I assign. Each date does exactly what you and your boyfriend did- try something new and learn about each other. It’s one of the best ways to get to know each other and learn how you work together. Congrats on being so smart- and so fun! sounds like we need to call you for some date night ideas