Today I’d like to introduce you to the first of many wonderful guest bloggers who will be sharing their expertise and insight with all of us. We are fortunate to know so many talented experts and happy to share their wisdom with you…
Read to each other
If you liked to roller skate as a kid, try it again and you will still like it.
Our bodies don’t forget. Finger painting you recall from preschool is still fun.
Reading out loud and being read to is the same phenomenon.
Snuggling up to your mom or dad, or grandparent, or baby-sitter while being read to is a warm and comforting way to end the day. If you are a parent of small children you know how often you read the same story over and over to your sweet child.
So why not shift the pleasure principle to your relationship and follow a time tested avenue to increasing intimacy and to get to know each other in a new way!
Reading and snuggling on the couch with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine is a great way to spend an evening or a Sunday afternoon. I could give you loads of research on why and how reading poetry / short stories / erotica / a chapter from a novel– heals your brain by causing the left brain and right brain to cross the cortex to work together. Your brain functioning is enhanced by strengthening the cerebral cortex (the CEO of the brain) and expanding your repertoire. Your brain learns new ways to settle itself (and the rest of your body with it) down.
Reading to each other is sexy, in part because it gets you to sit close and set aside distractions. The possibilities of how and what to read are nearly endless. I am a poet and love to both read it and write it. I suggest poetry because it is so deeply satisfying to hear someone else read it to you.
Imagine this scene in your home: Sarah has picked some poems to read to her husband, Sam and has invited him to join her on the couch. Putting her feet in his lap (this is a part of their routine) he begins rubbing her feet while she reads the first poem to him.
Reading and being read to sets a mood As the listener, your mind can go wherever it goes and still keep listening. Reading lets you explore words and states of mind. Poetry, short stories, erotica, essays, and novels can inspire and challenge and satisfy. Sarah and Sam maybe even talk about the poems and what they like or don’t like about them, how one made her feel, made him laugh.
All screens in the house are blank and silent. Ringers turned off all devices. Just the two of them together for a good long while, him looking into her face and really taking in the pleasure of her voice, intonation, facial expression and sexy presence. She reads in an animated way and looks up at him to see his relaxation and the pleasure he feels in receiving the gift of her effort.
Now if you have little or no experience with poetry, don’t worry, switch from this blog for just a minute to The Writers Almanac. (Don’t forget to come back and finish reading!) This site is where you can receive an emailed poem every day, read to you by Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion fame.
Go to the list of poets from their archives and look up George Bilgere or Ellen Bass or David Whyte or Mary Oliver or Pablo Neruda or any other of hundreds of poets and I dare you not to find a poem you like. If not poetry, give yourself the joy of exploration on-line, at the library or the bookstore finding a collection of something that draws you to it; something to surprise your partner.
Give it a try some evening this week. We look forward to hearing from you. How did it go and what did you learn about yourself and your partner?
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Myra Binns Bridgforth, is a Psychotherapist and Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Vienna, Virginia. In her work with individuals, couples and families she specializes in helping people get unstuck and be their best selves. She is a poet, singer, art journaler, altered book maker, Spiritual Director, and corporate relations skills trainer. Two times a year she co-leads Silent Retreats and twice a year she co-leads Poets&Writers&Artists Retreats at a retreat center in West Virginia. She is married and has two grown children.
Go to her website at www.MyraBridgforth.com to learn more about her practice.
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